Welcome comrades to the most glorious day of the week. Mere hours separate you from the weekend that you have worked so hard to reach. Endure what are about to be the longest hours of your life and soon you shall reach slothful nirvana.
Let’s spend a few minutes discussing the British summertime that we’re supposed to be in the middle of. Where is my sunshine? Why is there a thick blanket of cloud wrapping the county? Surely there must be a higher authority that I can take my complaint to.
We seem to really pay the price for not having a satisfying summer as, in much the same way that people suffer from SAD at wintertime, I’ve observed a large number of people displaying weather related moods when we fail to have a good amount of sunshine.
I’m sure you all have your own ways to combat the blues, but I’m using cake and cartoons to keep my mood on the up.
Today I had the distraction of watching some sort of recruitment/promotional raffle happening in the central courtyard of Exchange House where I work. The team and I were enjoying our 3rd floor view of tables and stands being set up, and observing a lackluster assortment of tat being put on display, but it was only when a mobile burger truck appeared that the levels of excitement in the office hit fever pitch.
We then had the pleasure of witnessing the unbelievably entertaining antics of the latest addition to our team, a 24-year old lad with an eye for the ladies, when he descended to the courtyard in answer to the siren call of a cheeseburger. It’s quite amazing to watch a man normally at home in clubs and bars ‘work’ such a huge space, but he left no lady ignored and no paving slab untrod.
Burger in hand, with possibly a small splodge of tomato sauce on his t-shirt, we watched him saunter from table to table, feigning interest in the items being raffled or the business being promoted. We were able to immediately draw links between the amount of time spent at a table and the levels of attractiveness of the female manning (so to speak) the promotion.
He did throw us a curveball when he spent an impressive amount of time at a table managed by the sort of woman who could politely be described by the words Valkyrie, Statuesque, Handsome and Mightily Upholstered, but we later realised that she was in some way offering a football-related promotion, so our team-members interest was in the subject matter and not the Amazonian beauty herself.
I cannot tell you the compassion we felt for him as we observed his repeated lack of female reciprocation; not one lovely creature lingered near him, sought him out or ran over to thrust a hastily scrawled phone-number into his hand. However, he did not fail to attract some attention as we were privileged to observe a fairly attractive gentlemen lingering around him and doing some discreet shadowing. When he returned to the office we took great delight in informing him that he had technically had a successful talent hunt…weirdly enough our little budding Alpha Male failed to share our joy.
Ok, I’m off to do the walk of shame through the courtyard to grab a bacon butty, observed from on high by my voyeuristic colleagues.
I know this is a fairly short entry, but the bacon compels me…