This is a bit of a change from my usual ramblings about marriage, food, animals and life, but Jacksonville is really taking some getting used to.  Remember that until recently I was living in a hamlet in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by fields and trees and cows and sheep, so Jax with its bright lights and 24/7 action is quite a change for me, and this change is none more so apparent than in the variety of *ahem* gentleman’s clubs to be found in the area.

I assure you that I don’t live in a sleazy part of the city, but I occasionally get to cross over Phillips Highway / US Route 1 which sits alongside the I-95 Interstate and runs through the centre of Jacksonville, and is therefore a very busy route and attracts a large amount of businesses geared towards convenience and entertainment.  When crossing Phillips Highway I was amused to find that I, completely subconsciously, avert my eyes whenever I drive past any building that offers the heady mix of ladies dancing whilst wearing as few clothes as possible.

However, this recently changed and I’ve found myself eagerly perusing the advertising billboard outside one club in particular.  I won’t name the club as I don’t want to be responsible for free advertising or risk playing the part of female advocate of feminine exploitation, but its bright yellow sign now grabs my attention.

It all started around Halloween time while driving to a convenient shopping superstore, when I vaguely noticed that there were a larger amount of characters than usual on the billboard, and somehow it seemed to be more sophisticated than the standard, predictable ‘XXX’ or ‘Ladies Inside!’  Looking a little more intently, and slowing the truck down a smidgen, I read: ‘Trick or Treat Inside! Ok, you got us, just Tricks,’ and it made me laugh so hard that I nearly sideswiped a Mustang.  Nearly.

Since then, each time I pass the club I check to see if they’ve updated their advertising, and finally this weekend I was not disappointed as I was privileged to read this little masterpiece: ‘Veni, Vidi, Veni. How many clubs do you know tell Latin jokes.‘  This time I overran the curb a little as I was laughing so hard.

I am now fascinated by the mind behind their advertising, initially because the Halloween advert was clever, funny and poked fun at the basic purpose or stereotype of the club, however this recent advert is a play on a Latin quote (Julius Caesar, “Veni, Vidi, Vici,” which literally means, “I came, I saw, I conquered – I’ll leave you to work out the fun that the club had with this), and requires a slightly more sophisticated mind to appreciate it.  How many people would have been aware of this quote in its original form, and would have known enough about what it meant to work out the double entendre and comedy value that was at work on the billboard?

I’m tempted to phone them up and find out more about the person who does their billboard slogans, but then again I still don’t want to be seen to support the dancing of lady-slaves in any way, so I find myself in a bit of a predicament as my curiosity is aflame with wonder and I  don’t know if I’ll be able to go on with life while living in a state of frustrated ignorance.

All I can suggest is to not always take the moral high ground as you could be missing out on something surprisingly funny that will make your day, but also leave you with infuriating, unanswered questions.


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